just cuz...

When you and I first met
We were so inseparable
And on that last day I left
Thinkin we'd need a miracle
Cause every little word that you said to me
Became the biggest pain in my heart
And all my pride making me pretend
You'd be so happy that we're apart
You just don't understand

You just don't understand
You got to be there for me
You hold my heart in your hand
You got to be there for me
You just don't understand

nah nah nah nah nah
nah nah nah nah

So far down this road
I'm not sure we can repair
And each and every time we be on the phone
We both actin like we don't care
It would be so sad to me
To be the one that got away
And it hurts just as much to see
To see the feelings we have decayed
Decay in front of our eyes ...

*note, I don't get like this too often. All sentimental and shit, but thats my damn SONG right there. Smack ya favorite singer.


Ever wonder what the fuck you're gonna do with the rest of your life? I'm sure you do. I'm in school. Thats fine & dandy. Its kinda a waste of time though if I don't know what I'm gonna do. I always talk to my Mommy, and she says "You only 20!", and that I still got a long time left, but nowadays, we're so rushed to grow up, and get rich by ourselves that its kinda stressin'. *sigh. *violins play in the background*

3 AM

My closet looks like the book of Revelations came to pass. 3:06AM Friday Evenin/Saturday Mornin, Dru Hill (Sleepin In My Bed) blastin and I'm on fuckin BLOGGER. *shakes head. Just tryna do ANYTHING but get down there and pick up the mass of shoes, purses and clothes that done found themselves a home in the bottom of my garment facilitator. Oh yeah. The pic up there has no purpose whatsoever. (However, any of you niggas makin videos for UNCUT..feel free to contact me. Nah. I'm just kiddin like Jason. Unless ya gon do it) WAIT, SHIT, its my blog...I aint gotta explain shit to you muthaeffas! *shrugs


I dare ANY muthafucka to try to tell me Dru Hill wasn't/isn't the shit. Somebody's sleepin in my beeed baby...


anybody else smell bullshit?

Most people awake to the sound of an alarm. Maybe some people just wake up on their own accord. But Me? Oh no. I got awoken to Paula DeAnda's "Doin Too Much" (my ringtone for my babys father's Mothers crib)...Why did I pick "Doin Too Much"? Simply, cuz that bitch does WAY too much. Case in point. She wakes me up, tellin me that Kevin's car insurance went up and his license is suspended. I'm like "Ok...", because remember--I've just been rudely awakened and my brain ain't fully registerin whats goin on. She then proceeds to open her chapped ass lips & say "His insurance went up cuz he got a ticket on April 25th". Now stupid ol me. I'm still like "Ok...", and then it hits me. I WAS IN POSESSION OF THE GAY ASS DODGE STRATUS ON THE AFORMENTIONED DATE. Did I get a ticket? No. Was anybody else drivin the car? No. I tell her it's impossible. She told me that whoever got the ticket, gave the police the wrong information, so they just rose his insurance payments higher & suspended his license. Now. If you ain't smellin the bullshit yet, let me paint a clearer picture. EVERYBODY thats been harrassed pulled over by the police KNOWS that once they hit them lights on you...they gonna ask for two things--License...and YOU GUESSED IT, Registration! So how could a nigga fake that? You'd have to be some ol Covert-Government-Master-Of-Disguise-Austin-Powers-Get-Smart-MacGyver-Mojo-Havin muthafucka to get outta that one. Then the second is. How the HELL can they suspend HIS license for some shit that DIDNT EVEN HAPPEN? Then she tries to antagonize me (at least thats how I felt) "Well, Kevin is gonna be so pissed", and I say "Well, there aint shit I can do about that". I didnt mean to cuss at the bitch, but she needed to have a seat just then. C'mon. Yeah, I'm from Florida. I'll give her that, but I aint from fuckin Bent Fork County or no shit like that. We CAN read, believe it or not, and we do have a general understandin of when shit dont sound right. Hell, I might speak a lil slow...but dont let the twang fool yo ass. So shes still talkin, by this time I'm just so heated that I'm kinda tunin her raggly ass out, but I get the general consensus of the situation. The bitch is tryna blame YOURS TRULY. Ho, sit down...relax, take two slaps to the face and call me in the mornin. Now, before this nigga left...he had tickets. I dont know whether he paid em or not. THATS probably why his license is suspended, and why his gotdamn insurance is high. WHAT THE FUCK HE NEED WITH A LICENSE IN IRAQ ANYWAY? Mureef AL-Binzawri and them ain't worried about whether or not the nigga know how to do a three point turn, I can promise you that. This ol four eyed yamp got one more time to call me tellin me some ol insignificant shit, before I cuss her ass smooV the fuck out and excommunicate them niggas from my damn life. She find somethin new every two weeks to call me and question me about. It done got as old and repetitive as Mike Jones sayin his name. I probably shouldn't piss her off, since she lives in D.C. and all, and them niggaz is known for snipin' innocent folks such as myself. Oh well. I'll Day After Tomorrow her ass, if she really want it! I'm done. Back to your regularly scheduled bloggin'.

P.S.-blogger, you need to stop turnin tricks in the daytime so I can actually get on this shit and get my frustrations out. Or else I'll Al-Zarqawi ya ass, try me if you think im playin!

*blackberry molassessssss one of the things that never channngeee...ya gotta keep pushin oooooon the sun dont rain all the timeee theres gonna be some heartache and paiiin...[that doesnt have shit to do with the monkeys backbone, but thats my damn song!]


"i was dreamin when i wrote this, forgive if it goes astray"...

So. I sit here, with my ribs bein pounded by my unborn seed, and I wonder...WHO THE FUCK WOULD DO THIS SHIT ON PURPOSE? Yea, children are a blessin. I got that memo. Plus, I'm already attached to my lil one...but damn! Today I went to my first day at this lil job, at a grocery store as a cashier. I'm standin up for like 3 hours straight, all of a sudden...I got maaaad dizzy. Head broke out in a cold sweat. Vision darkened. I'm talkin bout all in a matter of like 10 seconds. Then, I vomited. I aint talkin no regular vomit. It was like a constant, unwavering stream of bile. The manager told me to go home. I mean, like the nigga really said "Yo. Go Home". I call my Mommy (cuz what else would YOU do?) and she tells me that she didn't want me workin anyways, and blahbiddy blah. What can I say? At least I tried. I shoulda known though, pregnancy & standin up for long ass hours aint a good math problem. Then earlier, I wanted to go get a tat. Forgot you cant do that when you're pregnant either. Right now, I have a headache, guess what? Cant take no fuckin aspirin. Joys of pregnancy, my ass.


i <3 daddy fat sacks

"Yeah...I told ya'll niggas bout gotdamn takin them hos to the Cheesecake Factory, lettin em order strawberry lemonade & popcorn shrimp, all they gon do is try to get all yo muddafuckin CHEEZE!" - Big Boi "We Love These Ho's".

Scratch the title of this post. I <3 Outkast in general. They brighten my day, all day erday.

unruly tramps!

*Sighs. God, shed some light down on these unruly tramps. Why must they constantly cluck and cluck about eachother, but yet when they see the object of their cluckery, they remain silent? Thats the difference between a real bitch & a cluck. You see, a real bitch..(for instance, ME) will say what I gotta say to any of these birds. CUZ, I AINT NEVA SCARED! (no Bonecrusher). Fortunately, I dont have to waste none of my energy on these jezebels currently, because they're not cluckin in my yard. But I can hear their wings startin to flap in my homegirl's yard, who is also a trill bitch...it just bothers me that they can talk slick, until they get their card pulled. *shakes head in dismay & sadness. For the life of me, I cannot understand why a cluck will wanna fight over a nigga who DOESN'T want her anymore, ISN'T leadin her to believe that he does want her & pays her about as much attention as the Republicans pay to poor black folk. Worst of all, a nigga with no legit job, barely a place to live, "sells weed", but yet whos phone is always cut off, has no car and about 3 or 4 babymommas that he be duckin and dodgin from. Step your standards up...these yamps out here need guidance. And FAST!



Due to the fact that June 6, 2006 is fast approachin'...I wanna make a couple confessions, just in case somethin crazy like...oh, I dont know...the RAPTURE, THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT, HELL RISES ON EARTH happens or somethin. *shrugs

1. It was me and 3 other people who used to go around the city in the wee hours of the mornin (3 or 4 am), and randomly spray cuss words on peoples houses, city buildings, etc. It was also us who took all the toys from this lady's yard and moved them to the middle of the street. Oops.

2. The clogged up bathrooms in Highschool? Wet tissue thrown on the top of the bathroom ceilin? That was me.

3. The field that caught on fire behind where Arby's used to be? I didn't do it. I was there when it happened though. I ran like hell.

4. All the people with TOO MANY/ugly Christmas decorations that magically got snatched down? That was us too. My bad!

5. This is a throwback. Mrs. Burgess, my 4th grade teacher is probably still wonderin what happened to her BIG ass bucket of bubblegum & those colorful hard plastic bears that you teach kids to count with. Sorry. Peer pressure was a MUTHAFUCKA back then!

6. Sometimes when I was in Church, I used to have some SERIOUSLY unholy thoughts rollin in my brain, and the more I tried to make em go away...well, you know.

7. Same as prayer. Ever be prayin at night and some other shit just come up? Like "Damn, I'm horny" ...its uncontrollable man!

8. This is shit is mean. I remember me & my (then) bestfriend seen this girl in our class that we HATED. She was Rosemary's baby and a cousin to the Devil. PURE EVIL. She used to make fun of me cuz I was shorter than her, and she used to always tell me my hair wasn't real, and she told everybody that I didnt wear a real bra yet...so anyway me & my friend were walkin to Baskin Robbins and we saw her, she was diggin in the dumpster behind the Good Will. So we went to school the next day and told EVERYBODY she was a Dumpster-Diver, and of course when you're in 6th grade...niggaz take it and run with it. I feel bad now, cuz I guess thats what she had to do. But I was a lil kid, and kids are cruel.

9. I used to terrorize my lil cousin. I'd lock him in the garage for hours.

10. I was one bad muthaeffa back in the days.

11. The first time I got arrested, I told the police that I was the one that stole all the stuff (3 counts of theft, cuz it was from 3 different stores), but really I didn't steal shit. I just didn't want my friend to go to jail, cuz she already had 3 theft charges. I even had enough money to bail myself out of jail. So, when my mom came to get the money outta my car to bail me out, I told them I was the one who stole. When really, I didn't steal shit.

12. When that white girl in Riley county got robbed...I was the one who took the niggaz to do it. They paid me $500.00

I think thats enough for right now. I dont wanna scare ya'll into thinkin I'm some sorta demonistic heathen, I was just...misguided. Theres SO much more I could post, but it'd probably traumatize ya'll. I doubt if the world comes crashin down at our feet, on June 6th, but I wanna have at least a HALF clear conscience if it does.