Dr. Dre, I Am Not...

So I really do wish muthafuckas would stop askin to "Let me ride". Since I'm quite sure (quite=99.99999%) that at least one of ya'll took that as a sexual undertone, lemme clarify. Why, oh why, do people insist on callin/textin me around...ohh eleven-ish askin me one of two questions..."are you up?" and/or "can you do me a favor?"...now eleven-ish is still early mornin if you ask me, so my answer to number one is "fuck naw" or simply no reply at all, and then number two...sometimes just outta curiosity I ask what it is they want me to do. Nine times out of ten (this is no hyperbole, folks...these are actual figures that I sat down and did the equations and mathematical expressions for!)Ok. Not really. Fuck ya'll though, I can get my *Republican Party on if I want to! Anyway, nine times out of ten, they have interrupted my peaceful, probably perverted dreamin' sleep for what? A FUCKING RIDE. Yes. As if I'm sposed to get up out the bed, take them whereever they desire to go(and they probably want me to do this for free, when gas is $2.87). THEN, this is the best part...some of these walkin bums have the nerve to get mad when I tell them "No" or "I dont feel like it". I don't lie, I don't tell em the famous "I aint got no gas, potna". I'm straight up with it. I aint got no sticker on the side of my car that says "HEY NIGGAS! CALL ME FOR A FREE RIDE--ESPECIALLY BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 8 AND 11AM!". One of these pedestrian ass ma'fuckas went so far as to text me around 10:01AM, and ask me to go to the store and get them some Peanutbutter and bring it to them. I quickly hopped up, got a mirror and stared at it for hours, tryna see who the fuck she thought I looked like, cause it couldnta been Dominique. Or Nique. Or any variation thereof. I know, I know...next is the famous "I would do it for you!", well guess what jig? You dont have to! So theres no use in contemplatin on what could be. You better get on some Lupe Fiasco, Skate Board P type shit, cause the taxi cab that you think I'm drivin does NOT exist. Thats why God created public transportation. Damn hecklers!

* like you ain't know the Republican Party be givin out these fake ass percentage numbers from their "research".


Blogger Nika Laqui said...

Girl, I get my Republican Party on all the time, my favorite is the 80/20 rule...

Um, why did this hype that stay next door and I don't even KNOW THIS MUTHAFUCKA....ask me, "If I need you to take me somewhere can you?"

You know what face looked like right?

8:29 PM  
Blogger 911 said...

What about an emergency....that has got to bother me the most especially recurring emergencies you gotta love family though....1

2:20 AM  
Blogger Nique=Dope. said...

LMAO@Nsane...hell nah yo.

911...this aint even family who be askin me these outlandish ass requests, my family is mobile lol...these is just random folks and some of em i dont even talk to for weeks at a time!

3:23 AM  
Blogger woodrow241 said...

Bitches be gettin me bent like that too alot. Im afraid I resemble that type of simp and I regret it.

3:59 AM  
Blogger Redstallyun said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

10:33 AM  
Blogger Redstallyun said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

10:33 AM  
Blogger Redstallyun said...

True story: Monday morning it was raining- 6:41a.m. phone rings. I jump straight up cause somebody's dead or damn near- gotta be!NO, it's the 34yr. old LOSER 2 buildins over needin a ride- "Nigga, don't you fuckin call me this early EVAH again!"- he tryin to talk-click. I take my sleep SERIOUSLY- I need every milisecond I'm entitled to....SO, he got cussed out in a fully coherent state at 7:15a.m.- my momma don't do that shit!

10:36 AM  
Blogger NegroPino™ said...



SOmethings gotta give!!!!!

11:38 AM  
Blogger Charles said...

Hahahaha...tell that triflin broad to kick push her way to the grocery store, and coast.... You're madd ill, and I feel you on that 100%. When I had my whip, my phone used to blow the fuccup about people callin me for damn rides. Negro please...gas don't replenish itself, let alone the fact that you're interrupting my shit. I still get the random calls though...

"Yo C...whatchu doin? Ay...you still got your whip??"

"Nah homie..."

"oh, aiight...whatchu up to? Matta fact...Imma hit you back..."

These are the kind of people that I want to lose my number. And don't holla at me when I get my new whip either...biatch.

12:35 PM  
Blogger JerseyTjej said...

LOL @ Nnsane! I stay down with the G.O.P.! btw...you gotta put" ´cause I'm southern' cousin" back! That shyt is so funny...my family say that all the time and we's BIG country from K.C.!

1:05 PM  
Blogger SLUMP FACADE said...

How about I come over to your house around midnight and give you a ride to the places your heart desires? Sidebar -- Oklahoma is quite a bit away, however, if you ask nicely I'll gas up the tank!

5:41 PM  
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