chokeslam fridays:volume 3

I know its Saturday now, but this is my damn blog.

Why, oh why must these hos make me have to justify my thug? I think its safe to say that if I wasn't pregnant, I'd be locked up for monkey-mud-hole-stompin one of these unruly tramps. And so the story goes: Wayyy back last summer I was kickin it with this cat named "Baron Von Sloompen", JUST kickin it. He was nothin more than a homey to me. We didnt do shit.(Well aight, we did somethin ONCE) I wasnt feelin him all like that though, that was what you call an 'error of judgment'. Well anyways, some kinda way his BabyMoms (that he WASN'T with at the time) finds out, and yadda yadda. She never came at me on no bullshit though. Just know that. Anyway "Baron Von Sloompen" ends up gettin knocked and sent to the Pen on some drug charges, etc. So fast forward to tonight, I'm at the carnival walkin and I see one of my ex-homeboys (now he really WAS just a homeboy) and I see "B.V.S's" BabyMoms wit him. So "Pharrell" speaks to me, and we say the "Whassups" and thangs, cause I aint seen him in a while (obviously cause he been wifin this 19 yr old, big chinned, hooked nosed ho with two kids BY TWO different niggas might I add). So I'm go on bout my biz after that. Then my homegirl is like "You heard her?", I'm like "Nah...what she say?" Homegirl goes "She told Pharrell 'not unh, dont speak to her'"...I laughed to myself. I hate insecure/childish hos. You got somethin to say? Say it so my muthafuckin ears can catch it, ya diggski? So I go "YO! You had somethin to say?" Goin back up to her, she all givin me this stank ass look, and she says "I aint say nothin" Wit a lil attitude and shit. Ya'll aint knowin man. I was ready to deck that bitch at that exact fuckin moment. So I was like "I bet you didnt, but incase you ever do feel like sayin somethin, you say it loud enough for me to fuckin hear" True story. The bitch is still lookin dumb as I'm turnin around walkin away. Ho, sit down. Dont act like I want the nigga you with right now, cause I'm guessin thats her reason for tryna pump out more crunk than she can take in. I do NOT want that nigga, rest assured. Nigga dont even have a steady income. WTF? He works at a fuckin grocery store and gets paid off tips. Babygirl, you gonna have to do better...GET LIKE ME and get a nigga with a dental plan, who can AT LEAST take care of your child. I'm bein so fuckin honest right now that it aint even funny, but I was bout .2 seconds from punchin that bitch in the neck. Dont try to play me yo. Dont pop gangsta when I turn around, but when I come to you get all meek and tenderized and shit. Whooo. I think I'm more mad that I cant fight her than anything else. Yeah, yeah...fightin might be childish to ya'll but...FUCKALLAT, these hos be needin to be sat in a downard manner...and I'm here for that.


Blogger JerseyTjej said...

I feel you.
I nevah forget I went to "Camp Checkahoè" cause I gotta keep all these crackers at bay. I'm stealing that "...for tryna pump out more crunk than she can take in. That shyt is CLASSIC!

3:08 AM  
Blogger JerseyTjej said...

About the banner..go myspace graphics and do you...then copy the codes. If you want it in the header, go to your settings page, basic tab and insert it with what ever text you want to use. blooyah!

4:04 AM  
Blogger 911 said...

Ignoring folk is harder than it seems huh......but sometimes its the best thing to do...b e z...1

5:12 AM  
Blogger The Humanity Critic said...

I'm glad you didn't stomp her monkey ass out like DeNiro and Pesci did in "Goodfellas", I'm glad you showed some restraint. But you know what, coming from a guy who has punched many a man in the face for saying slick shit, I would have given you props even if you did give her a tasty two piece...lol

1:35 PM  
Blogger NegroPino™ said...

Please dont be nothing stupid with them chickenheads.....HOw she gonna jump bad iwtha a pregnant chick....that make her look retarded......brush that ish off

10:10 AM  
Blogger The Sarccastik Variable Why said...

KEEP IT GANGSTA!!!!!..baron von...that's funny..next time i have a story i might need your help w/naming the characters...

11:28 AM  
Blogger Redstallyun said...

I been threatening to hit people in the th'oat and neck for the last month or so- don't it just sound painful? "I should hit you in yo' gotdamn th'oat nigga!"

11:29 AM  
Blogger Nique=Dope. said...

Man its HARD ...cause before I got pregnant...I wasnt on no hoodrat type shit..but they know I dont take no bullshit from nobody and if I gotta chokeslam a ho, then so be it. Now I got another person that I gotta take care of and be concerned about...its too much lol

3:37 PM  
Blogger Teej said...

...with ya extra hood ass!

9:32 PM  
Blogger Nika Laqui said...

I know thats right, gangsta...and you know bitches be hating extra hard when you pregnant... But don't let that bitch get you off yo square...they'll love to make you lose yo baby...FUCK THEM, just make sure you write that ass whooping down....for a later date...

2:58 AM  
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5:06 PM  

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