7.08.2006

allow me to re-introduce myself...

I hate waitin for stuff. I'm one impatient nigga. I procrastinate alot though, does that make sense? Anyways, the plan was to get up and out of KS by October. Now that plan ain't lookin so stable. Problem mumber one, I wont be able to go to school AND work AND raise this lil person of mine at the same time. Thats a whole damn lot. Number two, I dont even know what the hell I'm goin to school FOR! My major is journalism, but like...am I really gonna be able to get paid off that shit? I dont wanna end up like these 40 year old people workin at Mcdonalds and shit, that scares me to death. Cause fast food=not for me. Ever. So my other option is to stay here, get a lil apartment and work and go to K-State, but it'd be easier cause I'd have my mom and pops helpin me out a lil bit...where as if I go trekkin across the damn country alone, I'm kinda by myself. I do got family there but its complicated, I aint tryna get way down there and have to depend on somebody else. Shit, I can depend on somebody else up here. Then my cuz in Chicago talkin about come stay with her. That one seems kinda shaky too...My mama keep hollerin I better marry my childs dad so I can get those complimentary Army plane tickets. She always laughs when she says that, so I HOPE shes jokin. That nigga aint finna get me way the fuck to Germany or somewhere and try to act crazy. They thought they seen the Holocaust in WWII? Psht. Try me. So this is where I feel stuck. I feel like I'm stuck here, and I don't wanna be stuck. Who does? I'm confused. I dont know if I should just say "fuck it" and quit school and move to Florida, or stay here in school and not know why the hell I'm really there. "She has no idea what shes doin in college"...Kanye was right, again. I know stuff like this takes time...but like I said...I'm one impatient nigga and I'm ready to BOUNCE! Oh yeah...I want a boyfriend too, any takers? =)

14 Comments:

Blogger 911 said...

Do not I repeat do not stop going to school stay close to home for the time being.....you just got alot on your plate some shit will fall off though. Being pregnant amplifies errrrrything, but your tough enough to handle these minor yep minor issues.....U got everything you need a baby with you at all times, family and a blog to vent on {lol}.....just my point of view, it sometimes feels better to hear things you already know from someone else......your only 20 u got plenty of time.....1

5:40 AM  
Blogger Nika Laqui said...

Girl, your emotions are just at high alert right now. When I was pregnant I felt everything was falling apart. But it will all fall into place. I say stay where you have support, cause take it from me, its hard without support and seeing that I have none, I would suggest you do what you have to do for the time being. I know if your heart is in Florida, you can't see nothing else. But if shit seems shaky, stay where it will be stable. Just take it a day at a time, shit will fall into place. You can't say fuck it and quit cause its not just you anymore. Everything you do now, revolves around that baby....

2:05 PM  
Blogger Nika Laqui said...

And even though you don't know what you doin in college, still stay, cause that piece of paper means so much when in the job field, regardless of what your degree is in, you still will have a degree...

2:06 PM  
Blogger 911 said...

Oh yeah. Long distance relationships suck.

8:08 PM  
Blogger Teej said...

I gotta go with the consensus. Stay there and let that support system you got there help you. You got a lot on your plate young lady. Stay til you figure your way around K-State and figure out what you wanna do. You arent alone. I was hella confused about school while I was in that bitch. Took me til my last year (that I attended! *wink*) to figure things out.

Definitely dont go to Germany and kick off WW3. Definitely dont do that shit!

ps. i never knew how to spell 'phst' until now. Thanks Niquey.

8:29 PM  
Blogger Nique=Dope. said...

Yeah um...all ya'll are right actually. I just hate it here, and this aint the place for me, ya dig? Imma stick it out though.

8:53 PM  
Blogger JerseyTjej said...

Yeah,...what they said!
(oh, and by the way NEVER pay for a bloggjob...do it yourself! That way if the shit look bad you can be mad at yourself for free...)

3:46 AM  
Blogger wun_knight said...

Once again I shall cast my two Abes in the air...
I think everyone has given you sound advice and, seeing that you have already replied, there's really no need for me to say anything...BUT...being that our internet onboard here is shaky as hell and I am finally able to check the site out again, I will say that you should stick with journalism. I mean, from what I see, people love your blog. I remember the first one you wrote and now you appear to have a pretty good following. I see you like Hip Hop a lot. Maybe you can get on to write for one of the leading magazines, be it internship or whatever. At 20 there are endless possibilites. Now I usually fetch a handsome fee for this type of advice but you got it fo free. I'm in the wind.

[He calmly chucks the deuce and exits stage left]

5:39 PM  
Blogger Nique=Dope. said...

YO WUN! THATS THE SAME THING I JUST TOLD MY MAMA! About goin into Hip Hop Journalism or somethin of that nature...I owe you those two abes you threw at me =)

9:42 PM  
Blogger Charles said...

Yeah...mad people commented on this already and said pretty much what I had on my mind. But, I see no one commented on what stood out to me...you still takin apps for the boyfriend position?? That's whats up...even tho VA is far away from the Junction though...

12:30 PM  
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