blogger jackin

So, I stole this from the lovely and talented Mr. Charles' blog. Im not sleepy yet, and instead of doin somethin constructive, I decided to go'head and grace ya'll with a nice, concise list of my firsts....

First crush: My First crush was wayyy back in about 5th grade, a boy named Robert. I distinctly remember crushin' on him because we had the same black and white patent leather Jordans. Sad huh?

First kiss: 3rd grade. That was back in the "boys got cooties" era of life, so I don't know how he managed to kiss me without me deckin his lil raunchy ass. After he kissed me on the cheek, he pushed me in the dirt though.

First Date: Date, Shmate. I cant remember any significant dates. Cuz back in those younger middleschool days, a date coulda been ANYTHING. Shit, walkin to the park was a date.

First 'relationship': Now, I've had about 49565854 boyfriends, but I can only count about two relationships. Anyway, my junior year of highschool. That was one of those love/hate things. Well actually...it was a hate/hate. We very rarely sat down and talked, it was usually me screamin at the top of my lungs, hangin up a cellphone and him throwin fuckin sticks at my window at 4AM to get me to talk to him again. *shrugs

First job: Laugh all you want. I've only had one job. Ever. It was at this place called Alorica Inc, and I was a Gateway Computer Tech Support Agent (which is French for-"unhelpful mothafucka") We were SUPPOSED to help customers that called in and had problems with their PC's but I usually just transfered my calls to someone else, cause those mothafuckas try to get irate. I quit before I got fired, I knew it was comin because I told this one cat that he shoulda got a Dell. [note:sorry if one of ya'll got Gateway and called in for tech support and recieved no help. my bad. well im not really sorry but...you know]

First paycheck: From Alorica. It was a nice lil $300.00 check. I bought some Cartier shades that I sat on and smashed two days later. Musta been Karma.

First love: Wooo! Anthony Burton. To this day I STILL love that boy. Well ... not "in" love, but I got so much love for that nigga it borders on obsession. That is, and always will be my baby.

First...you know...: Can't help but laugh at this atrocity. I was 15 turnin 16. My dumbass thought I was grown, tryna hang with my cousin. Anyways there was a boy who shall remain nameless, he was 17. He was Cuban and Black. He had wavy hair. That was enough to get me on my cousins patio, on a big ass lawn chair screamin for the dear Lord. I don't know how he stayed hard with me yellin like a banshee and sayin "OW!" every 5 seconds.

First time high: 8th grade. My friends parents owned a club and they were NEVER home, so we'd all be at her house. Her older brothers friends were on the back porch gettin faded. We watched them, then sprinkled weed on a crushed up sprite can and waved the lighter over the weed and sucked the smoke through the part you drink out of the can. In hindsight, we musta looked like a buncha crack-hypes. Then there was the time I popped a thizz (X pill). I said that shit was for white folks & I'd never do it. This is gonna sound bad, but that was a ...good high, I came home and cleaned up the whole house, washed my car and cleaned it out and was WIRED till about 5pm the next day.

First time drunk: 8th grade again. We had a friend that was a senior in highschool and he'd get us drunk and then we'd bounce. I remember takin shots of Wild Turkey and Paul Masson like that shit was WATER. I mighta even been a slight alcoholic then, cause we used to mix Vodka up in soda bottles and drink it at school.

First shoes: These smallll blue, felt Oshkosh kicks. We still got em around here somewhere.

First major accomplishment: When they fucked up in a major way and made me editor of the school newspaper in middle school. Then of course Graduatin'. Then actually MAKIN it to graduation without bein pregnant/or havin a baby (cause these clucks around here usually are pregnant by age 16 or 17).

First place I went when I got my license: What is this license you speak of? Nah. I went the same places I went when I DIDN'T have a license. lol.

First MAJOR road trip by myself: Man. FUNNEST SHIT EVER. Went to Fort Ustis, VA, VA Beach, Newport News VA, B-more, MD, DC-MARYLAND, some lil hick town in NJ, and of COURSE NY. That was the funnest summer of my life yo.


Blogger VerseOne said...

i think the only that keeps a dude up when taking a chicks virginity only works in high school and your hormones is on overdrive. cuz when i tried it again as a grown man, i was feeling bad for the chick.


8:12 AM  
Blogger Charles said...

Hahaha...I appreciate the post jack...makes me feel important. You were in VA on a road trip...I'm from Hampton Va, that's like the city right next to Newport News. That's whats up.

9:50 AM  
Blogger Redstallyun said...

Yeah, that first pill was like whoa- (although I had a really good one this past Saturday too) That's a damn good high- I can't even explain it to my friends. Feels like you vibratin almost. What you know 'bout scrubbin the kitchen floor at 4am, scrubbin tile grout in the bathroom at 5am? LOL! I be drained as a mufucka the next day though.

12:32 PM  
Blogger wun_knight said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

1:34 PM  
Blogger wun_knight said...

I envy you on the fact that you were able to take a road trip alone. I haven't done that yet. As far as my first job...I delivered meat! I joke and tell females, "No, I wasn't a gigolo...I was 14!"

Nah but I worked for a Jewish butcher and delivered meat and poultry to racist ass old Jewish people. They thought giving me a dollar tip every week was the shyt. I rode on an old ass bike with a basket in the front. I had to rip the tassles off the handles and shyt. I dodged gettin' my ass kicked just about everyday on that gay ass bike!! I had to leave ol' boy high and dry!! Shyt wasn't werff it!!

1:39 PM  
Blogger Nika Laqui said...

Thats my first time hearing it called, thizz....but I agree, great high, so great, I almost got addicted. I don't recommend it, just in experimenting cause it is very addicitve...

3:44 PM  
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