6.09.2006

anybody else smell bullshit?

Most people awake to the sound of an alarm. Maybe some people just wake up on their own accord. But Me? Oh no. I got awoken to Paula DeAnda's "Doin Too Much" (my ringtone for my babys father's Mothers crib)...Why did I pick "Doin Too Much"? Simply, cuz that bitch does WAY too much. Case in point. She wakes me up, tellin me that Kevin's car insurance went up and his license is suspended. I'm like "Ok...", because remember--I've just been rudely awakened and my brain ain't fully registerin whats goin on. She then proceeds to open her chapped ass lips & say "His insurance went up cuz he got a ticket on April 25th". Now stupid ol me. I'm still like "Ok...", and then it hits me. I WAS IN POSESSION OF THE GAY ASS DODGE STRATUS ON THE AFORMENTIONED DATE. Did I get a ticket? No. Was anybody else drivin the car? No. I tell her it's impossible. She told me that whoever got the ticket, gave the police the wrong information, so they just rose his insurance payments higher & suspended his license. Now. If you ain't smellin the bullshit yet, let me paint a clearer picture. EVERYBODY thats been harrassed pulled over by the police KNOWS that once they hit them lights on you...they gonna ask for two things--License...and YOU GUESSED IT, Registration! So how could a nigga fake that? You'd have to be some ol Covert-Government-Master-Of-Disguise-Austin-Powers-Get-Smart-MacGyver-Mojo-Havin muthafucka to get outta that one. Then the second is. How the HELL can they suspend HIS license for some shit that DIDNT EVEN HAPPEN? Then she tries to antagonize me (at least thats how I felt) "Well, Kevin is gonna be so pissed", and I say "Well, there aint shit I can do about that". I didnt mean to cuss at the bitch, but she needed to have a seat just then. C'mon. Yeah, I'm from Florida. I'll give her that, but I aint from fuckin Bent Fork County or no shit like that. We CAN read, believe it or not, and we do have a general understandin of when shit dont sound right. Hell, I might speak a lil slow...but dont let the twang fool yo ass. So shes still talkin, by this time I'm just so heated that I'm kinda tunin her raggly ass out, but I get the general consensus of the situation. The bitch is tryna blame YOURS TRULY. Ho, sit down...relax, take two slaps to the face and call me in the mornin. Now, before this nigga left...he had tickets. I dont know whether he paid em or not. THATS probably why his license is suspended, and why his gotdamn insurance is high. WHAT THE FUCK HE NEED WITH A LICENSE IN IRAQ ANYWAY? Mureef AL-Binzawri and them ain't worried about whether or not the nigga know how to do a three point turn, I can promise you that. This ol four eyed yamp got one more time to call me tellin me some ol insignificant shit, before I cuss her ass smooV the fuck out and excommunicate them niggas from my damn life. She find somethin new every two weeks to call me and question me about. It done got as old and repetitive as Mike Jones sayin his name. I probably shouldn't piss her off, since she lives in D.C. and all, and them niggaz is known for snipin' innocent folks such as myself. Oh well. I'll Day After Tomorrow her ass, if she really want it! I'm done. Back to your regularly scheduled bloggin'.

P.S.-blogger, you need to stop turnin tricks in the daytime so I can actually get on this shit and get my frustrations out. Or else I'll Al-Zarqawi ya ass, try me if you think im playin!



*blackberry molassessssss one of the things that never channngeee...ya gotta keep pushin oooooon the sun dont rain all the timeee theres gonna be some heartache and paiiin...[that doesnt have shit to do with the monkeys backbone, but thats my damn song!]

14 Comments:

Blogger Georgiapeach said...

Great post. Can't wait to find out what ghost was driving that day..lol.

12:12 PM  
Blogger Georgiapeach said...

That's my song too. You can go to Videocure and watch the video there.

12:13 PM  
Blogger BossMack said...

You are off tha chain, thats why you my peoples.

1:35 PM  
Blogger BossMack said...

Erase on of those for me.

1:35 PM  
Blogger JerseyTjej said...

Sometimes, i swear I gotta stop and look back at the picture...I can not believe half the shit you are talking about but I KNOW it is EXactly as you say it is! I get such a laugh from your writing...If my damn kids wasn't all up ovah my shoulder...I could cut loose too!

2:17 PM  
Blogger S. Monarch said...

HELL TO THE NAW! Triflin azz folks, lil bit. Fa real.

And why you take me with the blackberry molasses. had a nukka sangin like a mug!

2:54 PM  
Blogger wun_knight said...

Damn...you trippin' me out right now! I don't know what to tell ya about ol' gurl though. You better than me for really trying to process that BS coming out of a sound sleep. My reply to the same conversation would've been:

"Hello? Uhhh huhhh...you bullshyttin'...Uhhh huh....you bullshyttin'...uhhh huh...you bullshyttin'...(repeat until you hear dial tone)

You right about them cats in the Army caring about a driver's license in Iraq. I think the test goes something like:

"Nikka, over there is a sand dune. Don't let it stop you!!!"

4:08 PM  
Blogger The Sarccastik Variable Why said...

what??!!?? (still reading...) how the hell...i'm like you..who cares if he's in iraq...figga (figure) it out when he gets back...and get off my damn phone or you'll be talkin' to the white lady (the lady that says..."If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and dial the number again...you know who that lady is)...

4:38 PM  
Blogger NegroPino™ said...

U had me dying over here with that.........as always

9:32 AM  
Blogger NSearchOfMe said...

You had me cracking up with this one. You reminded me so much of my pregnant friend and her venting about her baby daddy mama drama that I had to send her the link... Hope you dont mind...

Oh by the way Hi.

5:08 PM  
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